Dear H****,

I've just read your editorial and I'm impressed with the journalism
savvy you've exhibited in taking bits and pieces out of context and
arranging them to paint a picture that illustrates your desired idea
of what's going on, instead of what's actually going on.  I realize
that there's no way for you to know what's actually going on, since
your examples are taken off web sites (which you've, it seems, not
bothered to read in full) and therefore it's easy to jump to your own
conclusions, which is fine -- doesn't it make for an easier, more
direct, to-the-point article when we can assign quoted sentences and
passages the meaning and tone of our choosing?

I used to be a lot more careless with the things I posted on the web,
largely because I didn't know any better.  I've since wised up,
though, and you'd be hard-pressed to direct me to a sentence or idea
or word I've written or uttered, that I'm incapable of defending to
the teeth.  I don't know you -- I adored your sister in high school
but certainly didn't know her all that well, either -- so I don't know
how well you can or can't take a joke, and I don't know if you're
really, genuinely hurt or insulted by my comments, or if it was all
just convenient fodder for your editorial.  But I'll give you the
benefit of the doubt and treat the matter seriously, just so that you
can see where I'm coming from.

The bit about "the parents of the five Jewish kids in Goshen
collectively owning/running the town" was meant to be taken as a joke.
I mean, obviously there are/were more than five Jewish kids in
Goshen, and obviously their parents didn't actually run the town.
It's sort of like saying that there were only five black kids in
Goshen and they all lived on Green Street -- since that's not true,
either.  Yes, both are generalizations and perhaps they can easily be
taken the wrong way, but I meant it as harmlessly as possible: yes,
there are cultural and racial and societal discrepancies in primarily
white, Republican, conservative, Anglo-Saxon, Christian/Catholic
Goshen.  Statistically, yes, the Jewish kids had money and the black
kids didn't -- certainly not uniformly, but yes, for the most part
that's how it was when I was in high school.  Just an observation
turned into jest, perhaps in poor taste on my part, and I apologize if
not everybody took it lightly or found it funny.  Goshen has never
been a big happy melting pot of harmonious diversity.

[Name of Goshen alum] has since converted to Christianity, which is why I
mentioned a "showdown" between you gals and him -- just because I
myself would be genuinely interested in knowing more about why and how
somebody would convert from their lifelong, family religion to another
religion.  I was merely suggesting a "debate", since you and your
sister and "********" (as I fondly call him) grew up together as
Jewish kids in Goshen, and he's since converted.  I don't know if you
are a "devout" Jew -- or even what that entails -- or if you even knew
[Goshen alum] in high school or if you attended synagogue with him or whatever.
All I'm saying is that it would interest me -- as somebody very
interested in religious/spiritual differences -- to see the conversion
addressed by somebody who's gone through it and by people as outspoken
as you and your sister.  To me, that would be enlightening.

Now, let me explain the story about the Accounts Receivable guy.
First off, I spent half of my twenties pining away over a guy who
happened to be Jewish.  And then recently I dated a boy -- who was
Jewish -- for a couple years.  The fact that these guys were Jewish
didn't make any sort of difference whatsoever, but it became sort of a
running joke among my friends that I was ONLY attracted to Jewish
guys.  I suppose you'd consider my friends anti-semitic for pointing
that out, but they didn't mean any harm by it.  Maybe I AM only
attracted to Jewish guys; I mean, maybe there's something about them
-- that stems from their Judaism -- that moves me.  In fact, I would
say that it's the Jewish idea that we need to live our lives to the
fullest here on the planet, because there is no promised afterlife --
the carpe diem mentality -- that draws me in.  Boys who exhibit that
seem more worthwhile to me (this is what I mean by "cultural Judaism":
the idea that you don't technically HAVE to be religiously Jewish to
live each day like it's your last).

So, the "Post-Traumatic Jew Disorder" jab was referring to the effect
a Jewish guy -- who'd broken my heart repeatedly for five years -- had
on me.  That's all.  I mean, I was wallowing around in a vat of
self-pity over it, and -- at the time -- it was easier to label my
condition with some brand of off-color humor than deal with reality.
The "shiny loafers" bit was un-called for, I'll admit.  It isn't based
on anything other than the type of shoes that one Jewish guy happened
to be sporting, and I can see how it would be taken offensively by
anyone reading it who doesn't know me.

The thing is, H****, next to maybe you, I'm commonly viewed as perhaps
the most liberal, open-minded person alive.  It's just that my humor
doesn't always come across the right way, which is something I'll have
to work on.  I live paycheck-to-paycheck in a Spanish-speaking
Manhattan ghetto, I march with the rest of 'em in anti-war and women's
rights rallies, and I belong to a friggin' union.  I am radically,
nauseatingly liberal and accepting of everyone, so it does come as a
shock to me to be portrayed as the opposite of that, but I'll take it
as a warning to brush up on my delivery.

I'm truly sorry that you were offended by my writing and commentary.
Not a word of it was meant in anything other than jest, and that very
jest stems -- perhaps inappropriately -- from my personal
relationships with people who happen to be Jewish.  I guess I've just
taken the liberty of the joking around that comes so freely in my
interactions with them to a level that just can't translate to the
average, objective passerby.   I hope this clarifies where I'm coming
from a bit.

Best wishes,
Bess