For those of you who aren't already painfully aware of this -- since it's shoved down the throats of everyone in the Bigwhoop Community on a fairly regular basis -- Eric Furst and I are long-time, bitter, rivaling arch-enemies. This is evidenced quite succintly in any given debate that's taken place on his web site, as well as the web sites of almost everyone else we both happen to visit.
This is not a new thing. When a topic comes up -- ranging anywhere from controversial to mundane -- Eric and I always immediately disagree; naturally and sincerely, based on our own beliefs and convictions -- not just for the sake of arguing. And then we battle it out for a couple hundred pages, hardly ever reaching common ground. He is my nemesis, and I am his.
So, the other day, when we suddenly found ourselves co-starring in an editorial accusing us of bigotry and suggesting that our families and hometown had been feeding us hate over pork chops and during study hall, one might think that we'd go our separate ways, fend for ourselves. He is, after all, the staunch conservative traditionalist (in a lot of ways), and I am forever the bleeding-heart voice-of-the-little-man liberal (in most respects). He could have turned to me and said, "See ya! Wouldn't wanna be ya!", and marched off to assert himself as a values-embracing good boy to the world, condemning me as a foul-mouthed anarchist in the process, but he didn't. And I could have turned on my heel and hotfooted it over to join our accuser in the nearest animal-rights rally. But I didn't.
Just hours beforehand, we'd been debating abortion up and down over at his site. Our friend had even commented that even though we'd still not reached an agreement, we'd taken the debate to a "higher level" than she'd ever seen it taken. But the back-and-forth was soon cut short by the appearance of an article that took us both by surprise, and yet somehow -- despite the fact that we happened to be at perhaps our most disagreeable at that very moment of age-old disagreeable moments -- without thinking twice, we hunkered down, banded together, and created a unified front, seemingly from scratch.
Except that it wasn't from scratch -- it was out of mutual respect. And that mutual respect had been there all along. It just took an outside attack to bring it to the foreground where we could get a better look at it. Beneath our countless arguments, our caustic quarreling, and our record failure to ever, ever arrive at any kind of agreement -- on anything under the sun -- was lurking a friendship. This was the true test of that friendship, and that friendship passed.
Though I'll still probably never agree with anything he says, I am blessed and honored to call Eric Furst my friend, and I will stand by him no matter what -- no matter how many times I want to take him by the shoulders and shake him for thinking that a woman's place is in the kitchen -- because he is decent and fair and admirable and I believe in him. And I trust that no matter how many times I write about fleeing for Canada, he isn't really going to turn me over to the Committee on Anti-American Activities, despite how much he'd like to.
That is mutual respect.
Thanks goes out to Hanna for dropping the torch on the route to her cause. Otherwise our friendship might never have seen the light of day. I'll try not to let it slip from my grip along the way like she did.
Oh, and no, he doesn't really think that a woman's place is in the kitchen; he thinks it's the laundry room.
And that is sarcasm.
Posted by bess at February 17, 2005 6:30 PMThis is why I secretly fear someone finding an angle where they can attack Lara and I at the same time.
Posted by: jankowski at February 17, 2005 8:03 PMThe Bess/Eric Alliance is strong.
I think if you got Lara pregnant somehow, that would probably have a similiar effect.
Posted by: E1st at February 17, 2005 10:23 PMDid I miss something here?!
Posted by: Lara at February 18, 2005 10:37 AMI don't think you missed anything, but he's got a good point. If I impregnated you it would certainly change things.
Of course, when I said that I was helping you "move your things into storage" I think that Furst maybe read too much into it and took it to imply more than I'd intended it to mean.
Posted by: jankowski at February 18, 2005 10:58 AMIt would be an interesting experiment to go around looking for ways to attack contrasting groups of people who hate each other, solely to bring them together in solidarity.
Oh wait, that's what 9/11 did for like a month.
Anyway, the Eric/Bess Alliance should be a microcosmic model for red and blue state relations.
Posted by: Bess at February 18, 2005 11:05 AMSo we should start pair off red-blue states and find similar ways to attack them. The mid-west would be easiest, pairing off Michigan/Indiana, PA/Ohio, Illinois/Missouri, Wisconsin/Iowa, Minnesota/the Dakotas. We can just make fun of them for their dying manufacturing sector, the corn and what not. But I have no idea how to simultaneously attack New Jersey and Oklahoma.
Posted by: Tara at February 18, 2005 3:28 PMWell, that's the thing -- you can use something as arbitrary as the fact that both states are home to a lot of malls. In my opinion, that's certainly an attribute worthy of attacking.
Posted by: Bess at February 18, 2005 7:16 PMMy mother made me and my brother sit on the stairs and hold hands. It was absolutely awful. AWFUL. And we had to stay there until we got along, and we inevitably would, because we would end up so mad at her. But then we would try to figure out how to not really get along, but only pretend to get along, so as to actually deny her the victory she sought in uniting us against her. But of course, by us agreeing to not agree so as to thwart our common enemy, she forced us into detente and beat us anyway. But it was still better than being beaten literally, which was always a possibility, and that woman could swing a mean belt.
As to the Unholy Alliance, perhaps now you understand why the Furst/Bess(t) ticket would have been my choice in the election, had I been allowed a write-in.
Posted by: ae at February 19, 2005 4:19 PM